The Ellington Mission ("Nothing is Free" Challenge) - Part 3 - Lovers and Friends

 

Welcome back to the Ellington Mission, where my town food trucks have standoffs. Teh goal of the teh Mission is to establish a legacy all the while maxing skills to unlock community lots as a part of the "Nothing is Free" challenge.  

 

Heidi: "UUUURRRRRP" 

You were literally five feet from the toilet. 

"I VOMIT ON THE THINGS YOU LOVE" 

You missed a dose of your Prozac, didn't you?

"I have an announcement." 

Your basil plant is dying?

 

"The new baby is already making music within my womb." 

And apparently put you in tarty lingerie. 

Heidi: "I wish to make mac n cheese and this little imp in my way." 

Beau: "I'm your son, mother-of-mine." 

"My who?" 

 

Beau has actually halfway maxed out Writing and Logic. 

"Neglect and a crazy mother inspired me to brush up on war strategies. I shall conquer the Sim World by force and then write of my successes. Then I shall be honored as a God King for centuries to come." 

Good Lord, you need therapy. 

 

 ...are you both from a totalitarian country that doesn't allow but one outfit? 

"The last time I saw a flower was the spring of 1992 before the Baguette Regime took over. No other food permitted, just baguettes as far as the eye can see. It's a wonder we weren't made to dress ourselves with buttered toast." 

...why do I even ask.

Beau: "Peanut, you're the only one who understands me." 

Peanut: "Considerably I'm basically a sentient slave to the children I belong to, that's pretty pathetic." 

 

 

OH right. Heidi was pregnant. God, I didn't take many pictures of y'all this time around. 

"OHMYGOD, MY ESP IS GOING WILD! THE BABY IS RIPPING THROUGH YOUR BODY!"

Heidi: "I'm too indifferent to care." 

 

 "OH GOD NEVER MIND, I FEEL IT NOW" 

BTW, you like her new hairstyle? I like her hairstyle. 

WOO

I have the Full Moon Supernatural mod, meaning that there's a chance of a baby being born Supernatural on a full moon.  

I was watching Broadchurch when she gave birth. Congratulations, your baby's been named after a brooding Scottish misanthrope cop! =D  

Alec: "I HAVE BEEN BIRTHED FROM THE SPARKLES FROM HENCE I WAS CONCEIVED"

...why are you yelling.

"FORSOOTH, IT WAS DESTINY THAT I WAS BORN UPON THIS FULL MOON"

Heidi: "Alright, I'm already tired of this one. *violently shakes baby*" 

HEIDI NO

(chalk that one up for the darkest fucking joke I've made in a Sims story) 

7 Painting skill points and you give me this low-contrast trash. Which the game thinks is Brilliant. I guess that's EA for you.

Peanut: "I am enjoying having a jovial fight with my child master. Not to fret though, these pillows are just full of the softest feather down." 

Beau: "Uh, yeah. Feathers. *coin jingling sound*"  

 

Well. He rolled this on his own. Good, the brainwashing's working. 

Terry: "Beau, you want to tell me why I found a doll's arm and buttons on your floor?" 

"Merely some light hazing, father-of-mine." 

To make up for the brutal walloping Peanut experienced, Beau is now going to make the potion in order to make Peanut real. Isn't that right, Beau? 

"*mumbling* I still need chemicals that melt doll stuffing..." 

Great, you learn how to paint and it's of serial killer-esque tableaux. 

Heidi: "What are you snarking about, it's a bunny." 

I trust nobody that wears a bunny suit unironically. 

"Turns out that arsenic is highly flammable."  

So's your flesh, apparently. 

Alec grew up! Well, aren't you a cute little fucker. 

Oh, he's a Genie. I thought he was a vampire because his motives were purple-bordered. 

 

"MY NOSTRILS ARE FULL OF GREEN SUBSTANCE. THEREFORE, MY BEING HAS SUBSTANCE." 

I sense you might be a future politician.

 

WOO

Second skill required for the Hospital/Science Lab rabbithole maxed! 

 

Beau: "Here's your bottle, brother-of-mine, since the parents-of-ours are apparently clinically insane." 

"THE GREEN MILK FILLS MY BODY WITH NOURISHMENT"

"...and it's evidently hereditary." 

So, uh, I suck taking pictures of sims in their childhoods, because Beau's already growing up.

Beau: "Bring on the puberty!"

Of course, we can't send them to school when there is no school. And we can't yet afford boarding school.

Also, it appears that Beau will be our heir, since Alec's Geniehood will be a bit too cheaty. That's not to say he can't unlock community lots for us, though.

*ears spring up* BOING

"I can hear colors."
 

A makeover later and Beau's looking like a strapping young lad!

Peanut: "Woo, it's my turn to grow!"

Don't care. 

"Hello, friend! What are we going to do today?"

Beau: "Can I not have the bathroom to myself for five goddamn minutes?"

Peanut has yet to learn about boundaries.

Wait...why do we have a vampire gnome?

Looked it up, and it's because we have plasma fruit on our lot. Except I want LIFE FRUIT, GAME.

Peanut: "IT BURNS SOOOO GOOD"

Beau: "I am disturb."

Since Peanut is a stupid name for a human being (sorry if your name is unfortunately Peanut), I renamed him Kaleb.

"I'm a real boy, now!"

 

...I shouldn't be allowed to name things. 

"IT IS NOW TIME FOR ME TO SPRING UP INTO CHILDHOOD"

"THIS STRETCHING OF MY MUSCLES IS QUITE PAINFUL ACTUALLY"

 

Appropriate.

"I HAVE ACHIEVED PRE-ADOLESCENCE."

Joy.

 "PRESTO FOODIUM"

Feel like Genies could have been expanded upon further than food dispensers.  Plus, having him as heir will have Genie in a Bottle stuck in my head forever.

 

Are you reading a Cooking book to the lad?

"...and this is how you cook steaks on a grill. You have to make sure the fire's not too hot or you'll sear the meat." 

"WHY ARE YOU TEACHING THIS TO A FOOD-SUMMONING GENIE?"

WELL EVIDENTLY IT'S NOT ALEC WHO NEEDS THE COOKING LESSON

GODDAMNIT BEAU, I CAN'T CALL A FIREMAN

Beau:"Quick, cross the streams, it'll put the fire out faster!"

Kaleb: "For the last time, Ghostbusters logic does not apply to fire!"

Well, congrats, you two. And because of your fuck-up, Beau, your household loses stove privileges!

Nothing is Free rules dictate that you can't have fire alarms or call firefighters because there's no Fire Station. 

"CAN YOU DO SOMETHING BESIDES WATCH ME EAT, PAT?"

Pat: "My only purpose is to be your friend, Alec."

"You know, all these years, looking out the window for my prince charming, when he was here all along."

You mean the one you've literally groomed as a doll since infancy?

"Hush, Bitch Overlord." 

Awesome, a love born from Stockholm Syndrome.

Kaleb: "Why'd you give me this dudebro haircut?"

 Well, it's better than the quaff you had before.

I think I'll have Kaleb here unlock the Fire Station so these dumbasses won't burn down the house.

What's this, have the floorboards become sentient?

Nope, it's a doggo! Meet Bront. I think I'll name pets from memes. Bront is from the WeRateDogs classic "They're good dogs, Bront". Look it up.

This crow has been in the same place since I started the legacy.

I thereby name him Brandon Lee.

Bront's making friends, I see.

Or not.

"YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU KNOCKED ME ASUNDER"

"HERE, MY FAIR COMPANION, HAVE SOME ROOT BEER."

Pat: "Is root bear supposed to smoke?"

Pat: "GAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGHHH tastes like human flesh!"

"I AM UNDERWHELMED."

Pat: "Well, fuck you, too."

That's a decent length for a chapter, so next time...more teenage romance? Maybe an unlocked community lot? Will my cat eat his fucking dinner? Tune in next time, to the Ellington Mission!